But I’m a Proper River God, You Know!

Yuan Ji transmigrated into a xianxia novel as a minor river deity—low status, weak divine powers, and stuck cleaning up the “tr*sh” those cultivators kept dumping into her waters. Life was miserable. Then one day, the original novel’s male lead—cornered by enemies at the edge of the Forgotten River—shouted in despair, “Thirty years east of the river, thirty years—” Before he could finish, a rain of high-grade spiritual artifacts crashed onto his head, knocking him out cold. Yuan Ji, who had just finished tossing her latest batch of “tr*sh,” froze in horror. But to her shock, the male lead woke up, kowtowed fervently, and cried, “Many thanks, Senior, for saving this unworthy one! I pledge my life to your service!” Yuan Ji: “……What?” Later, the novel’s genius swordsman—mortally wounded and sinking into the Forgotten River—felt his soul fading… until a flash of white light saved him. He awoke to see the demonic beast that had hunted him now roasting over a fire, tended by a stunningly beautiful girl. “Senior,” he gasped, “this one begs to become your disciple!” Yuan Ji, who had only fished him out to prevent blood pollution: “……Huh?!” One afternoon, while dutifully dredging for tr*sh, Yuan Ji fished out a man in crimson robes—his aura so transcendent, he might as well have been an immortal descended from the heavens. She stared. …Was the universe delivering her a wife? Backing away in alarm, Yuan Ji blurted, “Excuse you—I’m a proper river god!” Meanwhile, rumors spread across the cultivation sects: “Deep in the dreaded Forgotten River dwells this realm’s one true deity—a being of unfathomable power. The Chosen One, the Sword Prodigy, even the Beast Taming Maverick… all kneel as her disciples.” “Even the tyrannical Demonic Cultivator Sovereign, who bows to no one, hides by her side in disguise—all to gain her wisdom.” When Yuan Ji overheard this, she nearly choked. “No, no, NO! Stop spreading nonsense! I’m just a respectable river deity!”