I Can Do It

In a certain League of Legends (LOL) match, a streamer well-known for infuriating people, was providing commentary and live streaming. Streamer: This support, so tr*sh. Streamer: If this jungler was my teammate, I’d already be idling at the fountain, playing piano for him. Streamer: I suggest this player go back and practice last-hitting properly. Audience: Stop talking crap! If you’re so good, why don’t you do it? Streamer: Your daddy here can actually do it. Audience: Yeah, sure. If you’re that good, I’ll chop my head off and let you kick it around. — A few months later, the veteran LPL team TTC announced their new mid-laner. A boy with flamboyant blue hair appeared in front of the audience. His Zed gameplay was so astonishing that whoever he faced ended up dead. Female fans teetered on the edge of betrayal, tempted to switch their loyalties. During a post-match MVP interview, everyone held their breath, eagerly watching this talented newcomer. The young man took the microphone, smiled, and asked, “To the water friend with the StarTV username ‘Suburb King 101,’ my team’s address is on the official website, when will you be mailing your head over?” — After one regular-season game, the staff went backstage to fetch the team for an interview, only to stumble upon TTC’s new mid-laner and their jungler standing in a corner. TTC’s star jungler, Road, was pressing the team’s new mid-laner, Soft, against the wall. Leaning in close, he asked in a low voice: “You know what to say during the interview, right?” The fiery mid-laner, who had cemented his tr*sh-talker reputation in his very first game, was currently blushing furiously. “I know. I won’t tr*sh-talk… I swear I won’t.”