What’s It Like To Have A Universally Charmed Son?

What’s it like to have a heartthrob son? Gao Shi: Thanks for asking. I’m at the police station, just sent the s*umbag in. My son is a heartthrob, attracting all kinds of pe*verts since he was young. I can now recite criminal law backwards. — Gao Gusheng is the protagonist of an indescribable story. From age 18 onwards, his life is covered in mosaics. Gao Shi is Gao Gusheng’s father. After seeing the plot, Gao Shi silently clenched his fist. It’s hard, his fist is hard. Domineering CEO: You’re destined to be my caged bird, with broken wings, singing only for me. Gao Shi: It’s getting cold, time for a certain CEO to go bankrupt. [Shocking! A certain CEO surnamed Li imprisoned for massive tax evasion!] Yandere actor: You’re heaven’s most perfect creation, an undying rose in my collection room. Gao Shi: Very well, let’s see if it’s rose-red or your nosebleed-red. [Shocking! A certain actor surnamed Xiao turns out to be a serial killer!] Passionate race car driver: Don’t smile, when you smile you don’t look like him. Gao Shi: Don’t cry, save your tears for when you’re inside. [Shocking! Famous race car driver involved in hit-and-run!] Cold-hearted Taoist priest: You’re my bait, my eternal prisoner. Gao Shi… Before Gao Shi could act, Gao Gusheng stepped up and gave the chanting priest a left hook, physically interrupting the spell. Watching the disbelieving priest being taken away, Gao Gusheng blew on his fist, proud as a little fox who’d eaten a fish. “Nowadays, who waits for you to finish chanting before striking? Right, Dad?” Gao Shi nodded approvingly. “The child can be taught.” — Gao Shi never expected that a trip out would result in bringing home an amnesiac Taoist priest. The priest remembers nothing, not even basic life skills, as blank as a sheet of paper. Gao Shi had no choice but to teach him hands-on. The priest is obedient and pure, his eyes always bright when looking at Gao Shi. Until one time, during a mission, Gao Shi encountered a powerful ghost he couldn’t handle. He was about to die. In his last moment of consciousness, he thought, if only he’d agreed to bring ice cream for the priest. But he didn’t know that after he fainted, a figure caught his falling body. Ying Bujie held Gao Shi with one arm, a peach wood sword in the other, his face colder than Gao Shi had ever seen. No one could take away his Captain Gao. Not even ghosts. Notes: Father Gao Shi is 26, son Gao Gusheng is 18, biological father and son The age difference is the biggest foreshadowing, revealed in Chapter 1 To make an inappropriate comparison, the son was born through “as*xual reproduction”. CP: Ying Bujie × Gao Shi White-cut black | Taoist priest seme, hot-tempered captain uke Sweet 1v1~ Young Gao Gusheng has no CP, he’s a man aspiring to become a domineering CEO. Notes: 1. Fictional setting, please don’t apply to reality 2. Legal knowledge in the story is fictional, references to real laws will be in author’s notes